


Roses and Notes

by insertcleveracejoke



Series: Hadestown AU -- Let the Fates create a happy ending [11]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Emile is Hermes, Emile is just here for Patton and Virgil, Hadestown AU, M/M, but at least he's here, eventually, oh my poor Roman, so this is gonna be fine, that Im physically unable of writing sad endings, this is your friendly reminder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 16:23:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15755415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insertcleveracejoke/pseuds/insertcleveracejoke
Summary: The singer had hoped it had been clear enough that his heart belonged to Virgil first and just as much. But that hadn't been enough, of course it hadn't, and Roman couldn't blame Virgil for that. He had the right to want someone who wouldn't be daydreaming about someone else. He deserved it.(Roman ignores the way his heart breaks and shatters and falls to the ground like pieces of something that might have been valuable long ago.)





	Roses and Notes

There's no one in home and Roman isn't even surprised.

Why would he be? He has felt this coming for a long time. Virgil knows. He knows about how Roman's heart belongs to someone else. The singer had hoped it had been clear enough that his heart belonged to Virgil first and just as much. But that hadn't been enough, of course it hadn't, and Roman couldn't blame Virgil for that. He had the right to want someone who wouldn't be daydreaming about someone else. He deserved it. 

(Roman ignores the way his heart breaks and shatters and falls to the ground like pieces of something that might have been valuable long ago.)

And then he sees the blue roses on their bed and his broken heart stops.

Because it isn't stepped on. It isn't dirty or crushed or anything less of the perfection in which Roman had found them. (And how did Virgil find them? He thought he had hidden them well enough. He couldn't throw them away, and hadn't wanted to hurt Virgil's feelings- ha, look at him now- so he had hidden it and hidden it well. But it didn't really matter, did it?) They are just there, as if his lover had just found them and put them carefully in a place where Roman couldn't miss them. And then there is a note in the inside of the flower crown.

He takes it with careful, if trembling, fingers.

It says sorry. It talks about happiness Virgil thought he couldn't give. It talks about love, so much love and devotion that Roman could feel himself shaking, the broken pieces of his heart ready to burst. And it says Virgil was- oh.

Oh.

Roman should have known. He should have seen Virgil's insecurities before this mess, should have sat beside him and talked, actually talked about how he felt like he could float a few inches above the ground everytime Virgil smiled, how the fact that Patton's smile had made him feel invencible didn't change it, how he couldn't believe how lucky he was for being with someone like his Virgil. He should have. He didn't and now his beautiful lover had ran away thinking Roman would be happier without him. (As if happiness without Virgil's eyes would ever be anything like the one he used to feel.)

He would have let him go if he thought Virgil would be happier without him. But Roman couldn't let him go on thinking that he was anything less than the best thing that ever happened to him.

"Virgil?", he tucks the note in a pocket and almost runs outside. "Virgil! Where are you?"

He sprints through the forest he has come to know as well as his home, shouting the name of his lover, trying to figure out where he could be. It was easy to rule out any place that would mean anything to Roman. He wouldn't have wanted to "taint" that. But then where? "Virgil! Please! Come back!", he shouts into the quiet forest.

"Oh, here are you, the great artist. He's not here anymore."

Roman turns around and there was that worker that stuck around for longer than most. Had he ever given his name? That's strange, now that he thinks about it, how the presence of that man had always made his blood boil with adrenaline, as if he could run a hundred of miles in a day.

"What do you mean? Where is he?"

"Do you even care?", the worker says, voice colder than Roman had ever heard. "You'll find another muse somewhere."

"Where is he? Please..."

"Why do you want to know?"

"Wherever he is, is where I'll go", Roman says. He owes this to Virgil- to explain, to tell him, at the very least. He wants him back.

The worker analyses him, frowning. He lets the seconds pass while Roman squirms. Would Virgil even welcome him? Or would he be angry- no, he can't think like this. He can't let fear make him hurt more his lover. Virgil deserves better than this. (He deserves better than him, too, of course, but that is a given.)

"And what if I tell you he's down below?"

"What?"

"Down below. 'Six feet under the ground', below."

"He's dead?!", Roman cries out. No. This can't be. This can't be the end, not like this. He can feel his blood freezing in his veins, his heart shattering and shattering and shattering until he can only wonder if it'll ever be healed again, if he even deserves it to be. Virgil. His Virgil, what happened? 

"More or less?"

"What do you mean?"

You're either dead or you aren't. Virgil is either dead, or he's not. (Gods, Roman hopes he's not. Please. Please, let him be alive. Let him be safe and sound and healthy.)

"The king of the Underworld pitied him", the worker says. He sees Roman's eyes widening and quickly adds. "He didn't know Virgil was yours, even though Patton has told him now. Didn't even ask his name. Logan has always been forgetful."

"You- him- what?"

Trying to push away the fear that the god would come after him for falling in love for his husband (what could he even do? What could he take that would be more precious than Virgil, what could he do that would be more painful than this? Roman wants to cry, wants to scream and beg for Virgil to come back, but it won't help anyone. Not now), he has other questions to ask.

"Why do you- why do you call the king by his name? Why did he take Virgil if he didn't know- if it wasn't to punish me?"

"Oh, I'd guess he felt bad for the kid. He was in a bad shape, after all. I saw the king giving him food, offering him a choice. He didn't just take him. Virgil came with him willingly."

"What?"

He has never- Virgil wouldn't- Virgil was better than him, wasn't he? Except that- he left. Technically, they weren't a couple anymore. He could do anything he wanted now. (Still, it hurt- he didn't want to think about it, about Virgil in the arms of someone else. Roman had thought about them and Patton, but that had been different. He knew Patton. He loved him. And he knew that couldn't be, that Virgil would never agree. It had been daydreams even he realized were delusional.)

"Not like that", the worker says. "Virgil said you'd be happier without him. Logan offered food, shelter, company. Why wouldn't he accept?"

Why wouldn't he, indeed, when Roman had been so bad as a lover that Virgil thought he would be happier without him? He thought his heart couldn't break more. He was wrong. It feels like Roman is drowning, no sunlight to tell him where to swim, something weighting him down, down, down, and he thinks briefly about letting it before realizing it would just confirm Virgil's fears if he didn't even try to bring him back. (Roman doesn't want to come back to their small house. Doesn't want to see how big it would feel with only one person left.)

"Is he dead or not?"

"Not really. I'd think yes, technically, but Logan didn't just kill him and call it a day. He's softer than most people think", a smile tugs at the corner of the worker's lips. "No, he turned Virgil in a spirit, a kind of nymph, but tied to the Underworld and still with a physical form."

"Could I bring him back?"

"Why do you want to?"

"I love him. I cannot-", Roman stops, breathes, tries to ignore the tears streaming down his face. "I cannot let him go thinking I would ever be happier without him."

The worker thinks, for a moment, his expression carefully neutral. Then he nods. "Maybe you could. I'd say no, for most people, but Patton likes you. He might help, and Logan has always had more than a soft spot for him."

"Why are you telling me all of this? You still didn't answer why you call him by his name."

"Oh, I'm an old friend of Patton. I think he'll be upset if you two stay separated forever. He's always been- soft, about these things, I'd say. And young Virgil was nice enough to me. I'm not doing this for you", the worker shrugged. He smiled, then, something dangerous about it. "Patton asked me to tell you how to get to the Underworld. He wants you to be as safe as possible. And about Logan's name- I'm not afraid of him."

There was something about that man that reminded Roman of wild horses and the wings of birds and that feeling of freedom he always felt when stepping in a road. He wanted to- to cry, still, to scream at the sky or the ground, but he felt like if he tried to run, he could have flied. It felt intoxicating. Wasn't something new. He wonders how he had never noticed before.

"Who- Who are you?"

"God of roads, of paths, of messages", he grins. "I'm Emile. It's good to finally meet you properly, singer."


End file.
